the memory remains
by Blackheart Ravensoul
Summary: Takes place after the 2nd movie. Cruella in prison and after. Dark themes, rating may go up.
1. Chapter 1

The Memory Remains

I don't own 101 Dalmatians Warning! Some dark stuff in this one. Rating may go up.

Darkness, all sense of reality gone. Minutes or maybe years pass by. Thoughts swim in the emptiness that has become her mind. Images flash behind her closed eyes: hands in the darkness, cold and rough, hands touching her, hurting her. There's blood on the floor and pain and a baby crying somewhere in the darkness. Howling wolves with black fur in the white snow, their teeth tearing into her.

The woman jumped awake. Sweat was running down her face, down her neck, her orange prisoner uniform stuck to her skeletal frame. Her shoulders shivering from the nightmare and the cold. A curtain of white hair covering her face. It took time for her to become aware that she was awake. But it made no difference. There was only darkness in the small cell, yes it was small but the darkness made it seem infinite. Black like death, like a grave, more a coffin than a prison. Sometimes she was terrified that if she got of the bed and walked deeper into the room she would get lost in the darkness. Other times she awoke nearly suffocating from claustrophobia, feeling as if she really had been buried alive. Her waking hours have been nothing but darkness her dreams were a nightmare of disfigured memories and darkness.

Footsteps were approaching her door. The sound caused her heart to leap to her throat. She laid down and turned to the wall praying that whoever it was would leave her be. The small window in the bottom of the door opened, some light shone unto the metal walls of the solitary confinement cell. A hand blocked the light taking the bowl of uneaten food and placing a plate of soup down on the floor. The window closed. Cruella let out a breath of relief she had been holding, safe for now.

The female guard sighed looking at the cold food on the place. Not a single bite was eaten. It has been a week already, she never ate much but lately she stopped completely. "If this keeps up" the officer gave another sigh. Making her way back to the kitchen with a cart full of empty plates the woman thought to herself" there is no point in keeping her here, at this point it's all just a formality, she's no longer a threat to anybody". Turning the corner she saw the prison director and two female guards coming her way. "…. Did they say who they were?" one asked" No, most unusual, why someone do such a thing?" the other shrugged.

Cruella heard more footsteps approaching. Her cell was the only one in this side of the hall. There were at least three of them by the sound of it. "Oh, god, no" she attempted to hide herself under the covers wrapping them around herself, closing her eyes and covering her ears with her hands hoping this will turn out to be a bad dream.

The director opened the door to the cell it was dark and silent like a grave. The cell was no longer in official use, it was too inhumane to put anyone in there but the woman refused to leave this place. They made attempts to transfer her to a much nicer cell. All attempts ended in her having either a panic attack or simply a nervous breakdown. After the incident , this no longer used cell proved to be the only solution. The director sighed heavily there was no way to know how she will take the news. " Miss de Vil" he cleared his throat " Miss, I am the prison director. I am here to inform you that a you are being released"

Cruella sat up not sure of what she heard. Her eyes hurt from the light. "What?" her voice sounded strange from not being used for a long time, almost like it wasn't her own.

"You are no longer a prisoner, you are free, somebody paid bale for you ." one of the female officers said in a happy voice."

The words sank in slowly. Free. Leave here. Outside world. How many years has it been? Slowly she got up, her legs week from not being used much. The two guards came in to help her since she could barely stay on her feet. Entering the hall she cowered her eyes, the dim lights blinding her.

"W-who did you say paid for my release?" she was unsure of what to feel, she wanted to believe it true but a part of her told her it was a mistake to leave the cell, it was all a lie, a trap, just like that time.

"We don't know. The money was just there this morning with a note requesting your immediate release."

Cruella gave her cell a long glance. "oh I hope I'm not making a huge mistake." She thought to herself.

Who would pay for her release? Who was there who cared for her ? the answer came quickly: no one. She had no friends, no family, she had a few lovers in the past but none of them would part their millions for her now that she was no longer rich and famous. There was Alonzo, but he was just a hired assistant, she was nothing to him.

They escorted her to a room, her belongings were laid out on the table. They left her alone to change. For the first time in years she saw herself in the mirror. She jumped at the sight of her own reflection. She looked like death. Pale and skeletal, her hair now almost all white with only few black strands left. She put her clothes on, they were too big, the fur coat was too heavy, the high heels wee impossible for her to walk in. the tight black dress was the only thing she could wear, thankfully the straps held it on her frame.

She left the prison in her black dress and some borrowed shoes and a black leather jacket that belonged to some other prisoner ,who left it behind. The director gave her a sealed envelope, inside was the sum of ten thousand pounds, it was sent with the bale money.

"There is someone who is really looking out for you" the director said

"I can't imagine why" she said still unable to believe this, it seemed that any moment she will wake up in her cell.

"We had a plan to get you out" the blond officer said" but it was hard to get all the paper work through, we were halfway done with getting it through to the higher ups."

"There was no need" she said feeling strange mix of gratitude and disappointment" I already had a plan to leave this place, well, in spirit anyway" she said, her words were accompanied by an uncomfortable silence.

"I'm sorry about everything" the old director said in a soft voice" in all my years as the director I've never seen anything so horrible, I'm truly sorry."

"Forget it." She said emotionlessly" I know I never will" she thought to herself.

"You will be alright" the elderly man said with a hopeful smile.

Cruella said nothing.

She managed to get a taxi, the driver jumped when he saw her reflection in the mirror. He said nothing and drove her to the destination. The man was so scared that he said nothing when she gave him a hundred and didn't take the change.

Her old house, she wasn't sure if it was hers anymore but she had nowhere else to go. All her money went to the dog shelter. She felt tired, her body was not used to such amounts of activity. The iron gate was not locked. She prayed the front door was opened. It was. Relief and fear overwhelmed her. She could enter but so could anybody else. What if somebody already has? She wanted to lock the door from the inside but what if she ended up locking herself with a stranger or several?

It was dark inside but not as dark as her cell in the prison. She walked slowly, stopping and jumping at every sound. The howling wind , the rustling leaves, the creaking of the floorboards. Every little sound seemed amplified by the silence. Everywhere she looked she expected to see some strange scary figure of a man. After what seemed like forever she made it up the stairs to her room. She checked her room and her walk in closet to make sure there was nobody hiding there. Cruella locked herself in her old room. She thought about going back and locking the front door but her muscles protested as her legs were threatening to give out. She fell on her old bed and wrapped herself in a cocoon of blankets. Sleep took her soon after.

The prison director gave a heavy sigh." I don't like this" he said. "But it was one of the demands from the mystery person" the brunette guard argued" After we release her we must report it to the press"

"And just what will they do if we don't? It seems to me that maybe that person is out to hurt miss de Vil. I her condition I hardly think that sending a horde of reporters on her will be helpful. Think of all the stress it will put on her !" the brunet guard said" and after all that happened to her.

"think of the scandal it will create!" the blond said." To think that these horrible things were happening right under our noses and we didn't know. The press will eat us alive and her. We might lose our jobs. "

"All right then, we keep our mouths shut" the trio agreed.


	2. Chapter 2

Fangs

Cruella awoke unsure of her surroundings. Her heart was pounding in her chest at the sight of the unfamiliar room. Then it began to comeback; she was not in prison. But her mind still was, the night in the showers still haunted her. In her nightmare she was there again, naked in the dark shower. Hugging her knees she began to cry slowly rocking back and forth.

After she calmed down the woman sat on her bed thinking of what to do. She never expected to leave prison, not while still alive. She had a perfect plan to escape, all she had to do was not eat. If she just slept and didn't move and didn't eat she was sure that her body would die eventually. Starving was easy for her, she didn't feel like eating, the white goo they served as food remind her too much of that night. She never ate much in the past, had to watch her weight. Cruella had to remind herself that things have changed. Have they changed? She wasn't in prison anymore. Her mind made the conclusion soon enough: no things have not changed. Free or not she was still alive, still in the dark, still all alone. She had always been there, being busy and rich made it easier to ignore but things haven't really changed. Only now she was fully aware of the truth, that she had been running away from the inevitable her whole life.

She looked into the dirty mirror, her reflection was a mess. Messy white hair, once they were black, the other half was bleached and dyed, now all turned white. Few strands of black still clung to her face, that now more a skull than a face. Her eyes had become black, she couldn't recall what colour they were before, but she was sure it was not black. She found scissors in the vanity drawer; she cut the black strands of hair but decided to leave the length as it was now it reached to her hips.

"What to do next?" was the question that begged to be answered. Should she stay in this old house? There was nowhere else to go, but she had enough money to find some other place. It made no difference to her, not really. Going out still scared her, staying in the room seemed like the best option. But that would be the same as the prison cell. "so, the real question is : to be or not to be?" she thought. There was no particular reason for her to live, that was the truth. She could try to get all back, maybe even succeed, she had done it once and it was hell. Nobody wants to help you when you have a bad reputation, but then she still had her money and that had more valuable than any reputation, hers wasn't that good even before the first arrest. Now she had nothing, ten thousand was not enough to get her old life back. Cruella didn't want it back anyway, she was not the old Cruella she couldn't live her old life even if she wanted to.

Against her better judgment the woman decided to go outside. In one of her old bags she found the front door key. It was silent , didn't seem like somebody had walked in while she slept. Her curiosity got the best of her. She wanted to see how the world changed, and maybe if that was even possible to find out who set her free.

She dressed in the same tight medium length black dress, everything else seemed too flashy and probably wouldn't her fit her any way. Fur was out of the question, it was too war to wear it, it would stand out, and her once treasured coats were too heavy for her weakened body. A long leather coat with a wide hood was much better in her opinion, not in style but she didn't care anymore. The old Cruella might have lived for the attention of the world but that was before the incident. She experienced firsthand what it was like to be famous and beautiful and **desired. **No, never again, she promised herself, she will not be beautiful again.

After putting on some sunglasses she left the safety of her room. Carefully she made her way to the front door, stopping to listen to every sound, ready to bold back and lock herself in. Everything was quiet. She locked the door, now nobody could enter, except her. It didn't seem like anybody else was in the house. Looking around to see it there were any people in the street she was satisfied to find it empty. Good, it was best to avoid them, she figured she looked like some homeless person or a drug addict, and being seen entering or leaving this house could cause suspicions. She was sure that even after five years there were still many who remembered to whom this house belonged to. Cruella de Vil the designer was dead and gone but no totally forgotten, Cruella the person was a different matter.

The city had changed a bit, but Cruella tried not to go too far from the house. Without even realizing it she let her feet take her to where her fashion house used to be. The building was still there but the sigh was gone, now there a sign on the door that said "For sale". Slight disappointment came over her, she did like to design clothes, when did everything change? When did she stop loving her job and began to love the attention it got her? "And look where that all got me" she thought to herself.

After no smoking for five years and in her current condition she should have known better but something came over her and she had no control. She bought a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, but the moment she drew in the first smoke she began to suffocate. It was a bad idea, she admitted to herself coughing violently.

"Are you alright" a voice from behind called out to her. Cruella couldn't answer, she was struggling to breathe. "Madam?" The woman came closer and when their faces met Cruella felt her heart sink to her feet- it was Anita. "Of all the people in the world to run into her" she thought, fear overwhelming her, she didn't reply too scared that her voice will give her away. "Hold on, I'll get you some water, I have a bottle in my car" She took her hand and nearly dragged her to the car parked nearby.

Cruella was scared, was Anita the one who baled her, did she recognize her? She didn't appear to have recognized her, yet. Or maybe it was all a trap, a game, a cruel joke. Then she spotted a Dalmatian in the car and froze, Anita went to open the door and began to search for the water under the seat. The dog whined, the growled seeing Cruella. "Pongo?" Anita turned to her dog on the back seat" what's wrong?"

Before the woman could do anything the dog leaped out of the car and ran towards Cruella. She ran but she knew she could not escape." Of course I should have known, it was her plan all along, to set that thing on me." She tripped and fell the dog caught up to her and growled at her. It was clear that he remembered her. Cruella was scared, but then that fear was replaced with a strange calmness. She bared her neck before the snarling dog, the way she was now one bite would snap it "Go ahead, finish it" she closed her eyes two tears rolling down her cheeks, expecting to feel the fangs sink into her at any moment. The dog whined then rubbed his cold nose against her cheek. Anita was catching up to them, Cruella could hear her voice coming closer, and she opened her eyes. The dog was sitting in front of her. She looked at it then at Anita, the dog whined, wordlessly she nodded and ran. Pongo did not chase her this time. Anita reached the dog and gave it a questioning glance "What came over you? You almost scared that poor woman to death." The whined in response and followed her back to the car. "Come to think of, she did seem strangely familiar" Anita thought to herself.

Cruella ran almost the entire way back to her house. After shutting herself in her room the woman fell to her bed exhausted and passed out.


	3. Chapter 3

Apologize

Cruella woke up to the sound of knocking. It took her some time to drag her mind back to reality from the latest nightmare. The realization finally hit her; there was a person behind the door. For a moment she couldn't breathe as fear gripped her. She sat in her bed shaking, unable to think. "Miss Cruella, it's me Alonzo" came a familiar voice from behind the door." I know you're there" Gears in her head began to turn, could he be the one? "Please open the door" he called out again "I do have the key" he added. The man seemed determined to enter. Fear turned into panic and it suddenly began to make sense to her: the mystery person who paid for her release and the reason why. If she recalled, Alonzo received a compensation for the years he spend in her service and the abuse he endured, he also got rewarded for assisting the police to arrest her testifying against her in court. It was simple- he hated her, it also made Cruella realize just how horrible the things she put her former servant trough really were; so now he out to get revenge. She got out of the bed and walked to the door. Then she unlocked it and opened it, half expecting to get stabbed the moment she did. There, in the dim light of day falling through the dirty windows stood her former servant, looking much like the last time she saw him. There was a look of slight shock visible on his face.

Alonzo was slightly shocked by the sight before him; the Cruella de Vil he remembered was nothing like the woman before him now . the old Cruella was always fashionably dressed , even eccentrically , her hair and makeup were flawless at all times. What stood before him now was a woman with long messy hair and no makeup, dressed in rags. Wrinkles visible on her face, dark circles under her eyes. The man was too shocked to speak. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get it over with" she broke the silence between them." I beg your pardon" he was confused to what she meant. "Your revenge " she said bluntly" You're here to kill me. Get on with it". Even her voice sounded different , he noticed. The old Cruella de Vil barked orders at people with a strong , confident , commanding tone. However, this one spoke in a quiet voice that lacked the anger and the confidence of the old Cruella. Actually it lacked any kind of emotion, it just sounded tired and a little sad.

She waited for him to strike. Horrible images of the things he would do to her flooded her mind; she could barely hold herself together, the fear gripping her was so strong, all she wanted was to fall to the floor and cry; the only thing that kept her standing was the thought that it would be over soon. Alonzo stood there trying to process her words : revenge? Killing her? " Why would I do that ?" he said, unsure what was going on. "But I was horrible and cruel to you" she said silently. One surprise after another- the Cruella he served did terrible things without any remorse or guilt or regard to the people whom she hurt. "Don't torture me with your games!" she was getting desperate. "What are you talking about, miss?" The whole situation was deeply unsettling for him. The old Cruella would have shouted at him, called him degrading names and threw things at him, he was used to it, but this wasn't something he was familiar with." I know everything" she said "I know your plan- you got me out of prison so you could your revenge on me" she was breaking down, barely able able to hold the tears back. "Miss, I didn't even know you were out until yesterday." He spoke sincerely, but it didn't seem to convince her , so he kept talking " I saw you in the street yesterday and I recognized you. There was nothing in the news about you being released, I checked, and I got curious to why you were out. So I figured you'd come here , since there is no other place for you to go to."

Cruella had a hard time believing that he was telling the truth, but at the same time she realized that his words were sincere. "Well if it wasn't you, than who?" she asked more herself than him. " I don't know, miss" he said silently and slowly approached her. " I know it's too late" she whispered " but I'm sorry. I'm sorry for all the things I did to you and made you do." She broke down in tears. Never in his life had Alonzo imagined that the infamous Cruella de Vil would apologize for anything, but somehow hearing her say that made him feel guilty, like was somehow responsible for her current state. Like maybe he was somehow responsible for turning the strong and beautiful Cruella into this broken mess of a woman. He embraced her, trying to comfort her but he felt her tense, the contact making her extremely uneasy so he soon let go. " Apology excepted, miss, " he said softly " Shall I got and get some tea?" he offered. She simply nodded in approval.

While Alonzo made a run to the corner store , Cruella curled up in bed under the covers feeling exhausted from the encounter.

Meanwhile Anita was sitting home with a cup of coffee when her phone rang. To her surprise it was Alonzo. The two had kept in touch after Cruellas trail. " You will not believe what happened" the man on the other end sounded anxious." Tell me what happened"

* * *

Ok, I know it took a while, but her it is, chapter 3. I will try to make the next one sooner. I'll just say, this fic is hard to write , but since I started it I will finish, it's just that some of that dark stuff is a little personal, but this will have a happy ending and surprises so stay with me, things will get better.


End file.
